Will you blow on my dice?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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