Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
