You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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