So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize