Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
