yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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