I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
