If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
