is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
