i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
