Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
