just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
