She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize