New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
