:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
