Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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