he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize