He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
