Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
