So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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