if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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