What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
