trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize