i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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