I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
