Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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