I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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