You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
zippers are such a cool invention
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
