Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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