i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I believe in your delicious
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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