youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
