If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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