Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
