is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
