dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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