shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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