508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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