I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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