Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
