i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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