I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
