I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
