Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
