Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
