I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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