i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
