4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
