I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
