My room smells like vodka and shame
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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