I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
