you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
