Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
