just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
