she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
