I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
