I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
