Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
