And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
