oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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